Top 5 Ways to De-Escalate a Conversation

Let’s face it. Whether it is a dialogue you are having with a friend, parent, sibling, colleague, partner or yourself, the reality is sometimes things get heated. From talking politics, to deciding who should take out the trash, or to freaking out about whether you will get that dream job after the interview- nothing gets resolved when we are in a place of frustration, anger, or simply irritation.

Don’t get me wrong; a little passion when we communicate is great. So how do you know when things have escalated too high and what can you do to bring the conversation back to a productive place?

Signs that your conversation has escalated when speaking with others and with self: interrupting each other, thoughts are racing, shutting down emotionally, screaming, rolling eyes, blaming, going in circles, heart is racing, lack of patience, or listening to the other person so you can react.

The following are ways to de-escalate a conversation:

Sometimes, the patterns of behavior are too deep, the beliefs are too strong, or we just feel stuck. I suggest a third party to help navigate these difficulties- it can be a friend you trust, clergy, or counselor to help you get the ball rolling until you can fly once again on our own.

I give you major props for taking the time to read this article and learn about how to have conversations with flow. If you know someone who would benefit from this information, I invite you to share it with them. Don't just take my word; try these skills today and see what happens.

Nicole Nowparvar is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Life Coach. She specializes in helping young adults balance old traditions with modern identity, turn challenges into opportunities, & understand their past so they can reach their goals. She provides individual, family, and group counseling.